Church Project Theorem: The Long Goodbye
The far nastier flip side to Caveat Emptor, this theorem references any church that does not change hands and does not find itself at the business end of a bulldozer. The Long Goodbye is just that — a church that sits idle, slowly rotting away until the end of time. Or until it finally caves in on itself. Either way, it’s a terrible, undignified reward for years of noble service.
The reasons for The Long Goodbye can be varied, but it usually comes about because a building or property is unsellable. This might be because the area is so bad that no one, not even fringe groups, will touch it. But it’s more likely because the buildings are in such poor shape that the cost of buying and restoring them is prohibitive.
And unlike Caveat Emptor, which is the ultimate representation of urban renewal, The Long Goodbye is quite the opposite: a visible, prominent example of blight that mars a landscape and signals to all who see it that its particular area has seen much better days.