Church Project Theorem: The Francis Triangle
The “Francis Triangle” refers to the three Philadelphia parishes that bear the name St. Francis: Germantown’s St. Francis of Assisi, Spring Garden's St. Francis Xavier, and Cedar Park's St. Francis de Sales. When you plot their locations, they form a triangle. To be exact, an oblique triangle measuring roughly 135, 25 and 20 degrees.
What is one to make of this? Several conclusions spring to mind:
- Their locations are predetermined and designed to form a mystical, triangular region of immense power. When the stars are in alignment, they will raise a Super St. Francis, who will either wreck havoc on the land or cover it with rainbows.
- Their locations are completely random and represent no coordinated attempts at sorcery. And, certainly, no attempts to reanimate dead saints.
- I need a life.
Any combination of the above might be true, or maybe none of it is true. Why, then, do I bother bringing it up? Remember, the Project is here first and foremost to educate. When that fails, we’ll settle for clogging your brain with silly hearsay and conjecture. Of course, if it turns out to be true, don’t forget that you heard it here first.