There, the Project has made amends to South Philadelphia. Three of the past four churches, including this week’s, have been south of Market Street. Now please, no more late-night, teary-eyed calls complaining about how we don’t pay you any attention. That card won’t work any more.
Epiphany of Our Lord is the latest in a long line of South Philly churches that are just interesting enough, but not quite good enough to really stand among the upper-echelon. I can’t really figure it out. The northern portions seem to have amazing church after amazing church. Even West Philly has a couple of real knockouts. But what does South Philadelphia have? The closest you come to greatness is St. Rita of Cascia, or maybe, to a lesser extent, St. Monica. But neither capture the imagination and the eye quite like Our Lady of Hope, or St. John the Baptist, or St. Francis de Sales, or Immaculate Conception, or…well, I could go on, but I don’t need any more teary-eyed, late-night phone calls.
Don’t get me wrong, Epiphany is a nice parish. But like a lot of parishes, it falls victim to the St. Cyprian Effect:
Church Project Theorem #13: The St. Cyprian Effect
The complimentary theorem to the St. Athanasius Effect, last seen with St. Rita of Cascia. The St. Cyprian Effect applies whenever a church is more impressive outside than inside.
And that’s certainly the case here. The Gothic Epiphany has a great exterior, a nice dominant tower, and even some paintwork over the doors. How often do you see that? Never, that’s how often. The problem is that the interior is not nearly as large as you’d think. The church is also done in by some questionable design features, such as the use of wallpaper and (ack!) wooden beams on the ceiling. Hey, the Project loves wood. Really. But it has very specific applications in church constructions, and ceiling beams are not one of them. The last thing you want is to be compared to Our Mother of Consolation. Even MDG didn’t commit that sin.
Not all is negative. Epiphany has a unique pastel color scheme that reminds you of a giant Easter egg. Even the organ is painted in pastels, making it seem as if it’s made out of ceramic. And the altar features some nice, albeit unremarkable marble work.
Ultimately, the slightly disappointing size and several dubious design elements keep this church from the upper echelon.
Of course, given the rest of its South Philly brethren, that’s not really too surprising.
Size Rating: 7 out of 10
Ornamentation Rating: 7.5 out of 10
Overall Design Rating: 7 out of 10
